dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
