Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
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