yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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