someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
