remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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