Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
