Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
