It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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