i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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