The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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