Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
