just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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