My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
