I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
