I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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