I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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