Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
