I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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