they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
