This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
