Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
