You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
