im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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