she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
