He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She's the barista slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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