Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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