Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
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