Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Acid is not a monday night drug
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
