They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize