I wanna bring you to show and tell
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
