I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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