FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize