D3 body, D1 cock
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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