The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
