I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
