Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize