To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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