Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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