I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
