I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
