Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
