I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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