Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
