Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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