In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
please come you make the beer taste better
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
