I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
