my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
