I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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