he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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