I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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