So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
