His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
