so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
