note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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