No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
